Is it appropriate to offer condolences by phone?

One of the hardest trials is the loss of close relatives. Whoever faces such a loss and responds with patience, saying «إِنَّا لِلّهِ وَإِنَّـا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعونَ», will earn great reward and high status.

The Qur’an says: “Who, when disaster strikes them, say, ‘Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return.’ Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided.” (al-Baqarah, 156-157)

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Death is a fearful thing. If one of your brothers passes away, say: ‘Indeed, we belong to Allah and to Him we shall return. Truly, we return to our Lord. O Allah! Admit the deceased among the righteous in Your presence! Raise his record to the highest (Illiyyin)! Protect his family left behind! Do not deprive us of reward, and do not test us severely after this!’” (al-Adab al-Islamiyyah, 236).

Expressing condolences, helping with the burial, and showing compassion can ease grief and help turn sorrow into comfort.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Whoever consoles a grieving person will receive a reward equal to that given for the loss.” (Tirmidhi).

It is permissible to offer condolences verbally by phone or internet, or by sending a written message. The purpose of condolence is to express your feelings and prayers to the bereaved, to comfort them, and to encourage patience. Also, if condolences have already been offered once, there is no need to repeat them. (Fatawa al-Hindiyyah, 1/228).

It is recommended (mustahabb) to offer condolences to the bereaved with words such as, “May Allah forgive the deceased, pardon his sins, grant him mercy, and grant you patience and reward through this.” (Fatawa Tatarkhaniyyah, 1/620). The best example of condolence is the wording used by the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him):

“Indeed, what He takes belongs to Allah, and what He gives belongs to Him. For everything with Him is an appointed term.” (Bukhari).

Prepared by Hasan AMANKUL