WHY IS IT THAT GOODNESS SHOULD BE SHOWN TO THE MOTHER FIRST?

Islam commands us to honor our parents. Allah the Almighty says in the Qur'an:

“We have enjoined upon man, to be good to his parents. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship. His bearing and weaning is (at least) thirty months.” (Surah Al-Ahqaf, 15)

This verse clearly shows the reason for being good to parents, especially the mother. The mother carries her child for nine months, gives birth in pain, and nurses the baby until it is able to eat food. All of this is not an easy task. Yet, with her compassion, patience, and courage, the mother fulfills all these duties beautifully and without complaint.

Our Prophet (ﷺ) also emphasized the special respect due to mothers in his hadiths. Once, a man came to the Messenger of Allah and asked, “To whom should I show kindness?” He replied, “To your mother.” The man asked again, and the Prophet (ﷺ) said, “To your mother.” When he asked a third time, the Prophet (ﷺ) again said, “To your mother.” Only on the fourth time did he say, “To your father.” (Bukhari, Muslim)

Why did he mention the mother first and the father after? Our scholars explain it as follows: “Although both parents are a cause for the child’s existence, the mother’s role is more prominent in the process of bringing the child into the world, feeding, and raising them. The father may not feel these hardships as much. The mother carries the child for nine months, becomes weak due to pregnancy, suffers nausea and dizziness, and nourishes the baby from her own body while enduring many difficulties. Giving birth itself is a great trial for mothers, as they face the risk of death and still willingly give birth. After the child is born, the father’s role is mainly to provide sustenance, but the mother continues to nurse, feed, bathe, comfort, and care for the child, often sacrificing her sleep. For these reasons, the Prophet (ﷺ) placed mothers above fathers by saying three times, “Show kindness to your mother,” and only on the fourth, “Show kindness to your father.” Therefore, Islam commands us to show the highest level of respect to mothers.

Hasan AMANKUL,

“Munara” newspaper, No. 5, 2023